Blood, crack and apologies

As if you didn't know it already, Amy Winehouse is in a right state. After bouncing in and out of rehab all summer, Amy was spotted earlier this week covered in blood. Her husband didn't look too clean either. She told Perez Hilton in a series of texts that husband Blake was slashed and splattered after finding Amy cutting herself. Why was she cutting herself? Because he'd found her about to do drugs with a call girl and said that Amy was 'not good enough for him'. He catches on fast, doesn't he. Anyway, here are the 'facts' in Amy's drug addled words to Mr Perez Hilton. She certainly needs to sort herself out before her alarming beehive weighs more than she does.

"Blake is the best man in the world. We would never ever harm each other. I was cutting myself after he found me in our room about to do drugs with a call girl and rightly said I wasn’t good enough for him. I lost it and he saved my life. He is an amazing man who saved my life again and got cut badly for his troubles. All he get is horrible stories printed about him and he just keeps quiet, but this i too much."

Who would think that this healthy-looking girl could turn into such a screaming crack whore?


And then we move onto Lindsay Lohan. Finally she's caught up with the rest of the world. Yes, she's admitted to being an addict but only, I feel, to avoid a lengthy jail sentence. Her statement has got all the genuine emotion of a Jennifer Aniston film.

"It is clear to me that my life has become completely unmanageable because I am addicted to alcohol and drugs. Recently, I relapsed and did things for which I am ashamed. I broke the law, and today I took responsibility by pleading guilty to the charges in my case. No matter what I said when I was under the influence on the day I was arrested, I am not blaming anyone else for my conduct other than myself. I thank God I did not injure others. I easily could have.

"I very much want to be healthy and gain control of my life and career and have asked for medical help in doing so. I am taking these steps to improve my life. Luckily, I am not alone in my daily struggle and I know that people like me have succeeded. Maybe with time it will become easier. I hope so."