She will be loved (loudly and all night)

All I can say to this one is that Star magazine has a brave (read: remarkably stupid) editor. Jude Whore might be a lot of things - sexually incontinent, a swinger and an incredibly bad actor - but would he sleep with Jessica Simpson? And keep her moaning in ecstasy all night at Chateau Marmont?

As we know all know, Jude likes a woman who likes to share her man, either when he's out of the country or in the same bedroom with you and your best friend. Jessica Simpson doesn't strike me as a swinger. She might have, say, slept with Johnny Knoxville while she (and he, for that matter) was still married, but I'm guessing that's where the fun the stops. Sleep with Lachey and Knoxville at the same time? I'm thinking no. And more than that, would she even know who Jude is? Are The Talented Mr Ripley, Cold Mountain and Alfie in her DVD collection? Is Alfie in anyone's DVD collection?

The theory circulating Hollywood is that Star mistakenly identified Jessica's new lover. Rumour has it that the man who kept Jessica moaning all night was none other than Maroon 5 singer Adam Levine. Still, it makes a change from Adam moaning his way through 45 minutes of interminable songs about Jane.