Rugrat

Quite why Victoria Beckham is considered to be a style icon I'll never know. She might be Roberto Cavalli's muse but to me she looks like a spokesperson for Allied Carpets. Take this outfit, especially the rug that she's apparently just picked up off the nursery floor.

Her bag might cost more than my annual salary but it's just one jarring ingredient in a hideous mishmash of styles. Then there's the hooker's boots, the office worker trousers, the gym vest and the military cap. Whoever classes that little lot as style shouldn't try crossing a road without their guide dog.