The Odd Couple (yet again)

Something's Gotta Give saw Diane Keaton pass up younger doctor Keanu Reeves for schoolgirl skirt chaser Jack Nicholson. The Hollywood moral of the film was clear - stick to your own age group or be damned. Nicholson was struck down with a heart attack for romancing a whippersnapper.

But Diane seems to have ignored this advice and is now said to be dating Keanu. While Keanu is not exactly in short trousers (he's 40), Diane is a post-menopausal 59. Okay, she's never had kids so the elastic hasn't snapped beyond help but she could fall prey to the Douglas-Zeta Jones syndrome. They say age doesn't matter but then you see Michael bleeding and oozing all over his shirt from some suspicious scars round his ears. If something really has to give in the cross-generational love match, then it's usually excess skin.