Naomi Williams

So Robbie was schtupping Naomi Campbell? Brave man. She's no compliant pussycat but she does, like Robbie in the pre-mint tea and card playing days, have a taste for the Columbian marching powder. And you can't fault her abs and legs. Crazy, yes, a lardass, no.

She does, however, fall down on the fidelity front though. Despite having a 'serious' relationship with Formula playboy Flavio Briatore, Naomi still managed to squeeze a year of sex with RW. It's not a conundrum I've faced, unfortunately, but I know who I'd chose faced with a hake-faced lothario and Mr Williams.