Kids in America

It's all happening this week. First there's Britney. Her family and agents think that the bald head warrants rehab so she's been in and out a couple of times over the last few days. Her commitment to doing something she's been told to do is so strong that she lasted 24 hours the first time and a couple of hours the next. I know rehab is Hollywood shorthand for 'contrition in return for increased record sales' but Britney obviously doesn't want to go and until she does, it's not going to work. Also, has anyone considered the possibility that rehab is not going to undo the damage done by years of fame and money. Group therapy and chanting are not going to change her personality. If they can change her choice of wigs, though, that would be a start. The girl has money but she still insists on buying white trash tat.


Then there's Mrs Beckham. If she carries on subjecting her children to this kind of attention then she can expect them to start shaving their heads and wearing cheap Marilyn Monroe wigs in about ten years time. Don't want to fuck your kids up, then don't expose them to the media circus. And don't complain about it. I wouldn't recognise most footballers never mind their wives. There's a good reason for that and it's because Victoria Beckham is a media whore. One look at these kids' faces tells you all you need to know.

And finally, just when you thought that Brad and Ange had been quiet for a while, the adoption roadshow is back on track. To add to their multi-ethnic brood, Brange have applied to adopt a boy from Vietnam. They saw him last November and have filed papers to bring him over. I can only assume that they'll be heading over to Africa for the next addition to the family just to keep the numbers even. And what about Latin America? They seem to be missing out a whole continent here.