Mission Improbable

You know you’re on a bad roll when you’re reduced to picking up Enrique Iglesias and Craig David’s cast-off. So spare a thought for poor (I mean hideously rich) Tom Cruise who is dating Colombian model-turned-actress Sofia Vergara.

The hyphenate should give you an idea of the woman’s calibre (as should her bit part alongside Paris Hilton and Holly Valance in National Lampoon’s Pledge This!). And the fact that her son Manolo owes his name to a pair of shoes.

Undeterred by this dodgy CV, Cruise took the woman out on a classy date of pizza and beer. And maybe this is where Sofia scored points over Nicole “so thin she’s translucent” Kidman and Penelope Cruz. Sofia’s not only willing to eat in public but she’s willing to eat the celebrity’s most feared food group, refined carbs.

Or maybe Tom is just making the most of Sofia's Latina looks. With her dark facial hair, she makes the perfect beard.