Beckham Beauty

Ladies, and not to forget drag queens and cross dressers of all denominations, we can all rest easy now. Yes, we too can look like Victoria Beckham. After years of keeping us all wanting and waiting, Mrs Beckham is bringing out a range of cosmetics.

But be warned there is only some much a sculpting blusher can do for you. Want those hollow cheeks and cadaverous eyes? Then you'll just have to starve yourself and worry endlessly over a philandering husband like Victoria. Want those famously pouting lips? Then you'll have to get yourself some fat from your arse injected into your mouth. No-one ever said 'beauty' was easy.