Shite Rider

In continental Europe, where the tanga brief is king, you could just about understand his popularity. After all, Germans sport mullets and slip-on shoes with no irony. Italian men confidently sling manbags over their shoulders and sport rolled up jeans and deckshoes. And, horror of horrors, they wear Speedos on the beach.

Only in this kind of world, which holds up raddled old cokebag Donna Versace as a fashion icon, could David Hasselhoff still be a pop star.

But now it looks like the Hoff could be making a comeback over here. With a film version of Knight Rider and a voice-over on the Spongebob movie, the Hoff is gradually creeping back into our consciousness like a 1970s venereal disease. And to cap it all he’s got a celebrity endorsement from Scarlett Johansson, who says she used to have a crush on him in Baywatch.

So the Hoff’s days in second-grade musicals and TV movies could be numbered. Let’s just hope he doesn’t bring the Speedos back with him.