The Miller's Tale

Stella sat down for a quiet beer to think of a name...

A celebrity and sense are soon parted when it comes to naming a baby. Stella McCartney proves the point today by calling her baby Miller. A homage to beer? Or the noble craft of flour production?

She must have taken her cue from her friend Gwyneth whose daughter is called Apple. How else to trump a fruit than by bringing in the big guns of grain and hops? “I’ll see your fruit and raise you a bottle of beer and a bread roll.”

Miller obviously won’t stand out in at his Steiner playgroup among the Apples, Irises and, god love Sharleen Spiteri’s daughter, Misty Kid. His name shouldn’t even raise an eyebrow in Hollywood, where kids are routinely called Piper Maru (Gillian Anderson) Sailor Lee (Christie Brinkley) and Aquinnah and Schuyler (Michael Fox). The rule seems to be that the more mundane your own name, the more outlandish the monikers you slap on your kids.

And just what was Parker Posey’s mother thinking? If you’re going to name your child after a pen at least aim for the Mont Blanc end of the market.