Baby Spice

Geri Halliwell's lapdogs should start calling round the animal shelters for a free kennel because Ginger Spice is upgrading to the single girl's ultimate accessory - a baby. Ginger has gotten herself pregnant by a guy she has been dating since the summer and the baby is due in the Spring. But in true celebrity fuckwit style, she'll be going it alone, having already screwed up her relationship with the father, British journalist Sacha Gervasi (below).



The benefits of a baby are clear for Geri even before it arrives. Thanks to Baby Halliwell, there's no need for yet more breast implants. She can also let herself go and chow down on as much junk food for as she likes.

For all their talk of Girl Power, the Spice Girls have become bad adverts for modern womanhood. Posh Spice is an anoxeric, fashion-obsessed mother of three and married to a serial adulterer, Scary got pregnant by a money grabber, married him and then ditched him and Baby has an on-off relationship with a younger guy. Sporty is the only one to have a seemingly stable relationship with a non-famous person. None of them have any talent but that hasn't stopped them from trying to resurrect their 'careers' every year or so.

Still, at least the baby will be earning its keep. Apart from the 'how I lost my baby weight in three minutes' tabloid serialisation, I sense another autobiography coming on.