Baby No Show

Could Suri Cruise be like her parents' relationship - a total fiction? There's mounting evidence that this may be true. No one has ever seen Suri and judging by the amount of time Katie Holmes spends shopping, she's doesn't see much of Suri either. If Suri actually exists.

Consider the evidence. Katie's baby bump was randomly growing and then shrinking. One week she looked like she'd swallowed a couch and then she looked all neat and contained the next. Then there's the baby no-show. Surely Cruise can't be trying to give his baby a normal upbringing. We all know that 'normal' and 'Tom Cruise' don't go in the same sentence. And his terrible need to prove he's straight usually has him engineering photo opps with Katie left, right and centre. Katie and Tom kissing at a baseball match, Katie and Tom kissing on a yacht, Katie and Tom kissing while watching a baseball match from a yacht. So why would he not wheel out Suri, the ultimate proof of his heterosexuality, for the world's press. You tell me.