Thursday, July 20, 2006

Marriage blues

It's been a bad week for marriage. We've got two couples heading for implosion and one already crashed on the rocks of domestic boredom.

Avril Lavigne trotted down the aisle with her own pop troll, Sum 41 singer Deryk Whibley. She's 21, she's famous and she will know better by the time she's 25. Potential divorce rating: high. Then there's the foolish and inflatable Pamela Anderson. She's obviously got tired of being on again and off again with ex-husband Tommy Lee so she's now on again with formerly off again Kid Rock aka a total arsehole. Potential divorce rating: extremely high. At the other end of the spectrum are Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro. Forever proved to be a drag for these two. You'd think they know about the 'till death do us part' clause from his two earlier marriages and her five month marital marathon with Dennis Rodman.

Still, I have no doubt that Carmen and Dave will be darkening another jeweller's door with another ill-fated engagement in a matter of weeks. Much like Pammie and she's not even married yet.


Anonymous Larryphil said...

A very enjoyable post.

I wonder what happens to all the big honking diamonds these people go through? They seem to need new diamonds every time they re-marry,even when re-marrying the same person.

8:48 pm  
Blogger tiny robot said...

Obviously, they crush the diamonds into a fine powder for use as a laxative, usually taken in a fruit smoothie or spoonful of fat-free yogurt to disguise the bitter aftertaste.

This mixture helps ease the painful stress of the divorce process and leaves a tingling sensation on the tongue--a delightful side effect for the numb and witless celebrity divorcee waiting for the throes of over-publicized romance to blossom yet again.

And what gives with Avril's racoon eye-makeup? It's a wedding, not a goth club.

9:15 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For a girl who claims to be "punk," she didn't seem to have kicked up a fuss about wearing Vera Wang to her wedding. I was expecting her to turn up in a torn black dress with her trademark necktie.

10:50 pm  
Blogger Heidi the Hick said...

Oh no no, she's left the necktie thing behind. That was all 17 years old. She's all growed up now. See, that's what the black eyeliner is all about. Because when little mall punks grow up and get introduced to Dolce & Gabbana, they have to hang onto that one last little shred of mall-punk-ness. It balances out the Barbie hair.

Me, I'm just impressed all to heck that Deryck took off his sunglasses!

11:30 pm  

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