Sex and the Stable

Sarah Jessica Parker has angrily denied having had any plastic surgery. And so would I if I had her horseface. Why would anyone pay good money and get the full slash and burn treatment to look like that? I know some crazed people, like Joyce Wildenstein, model their faces on cats, but I’ve yet to hear of anyone modelling themselves on Mr Ed.


carrot anyone?

Older men everywhere must be rejoicing in their new found popularity. Now that Scarlett Johansson has come out of the closet and admitted to fancying the Hoff, Renee Zellwegger has revealed she has the hots for Paul McCartney. A man, who not unlike Renee, is partial to brown hair dye.

As caustic chatshow host Mrs Merton said to the wife of a short, balding magician: “What first attracted you to the multimillionaire Paul Daniels?”