London's Moss Wanted

And it just keeps on coming. I can only assume that Kate Moss was Attila the Hun in a former life (or that we don't know the extent of her misdeeds in this one) because the torrent of crap is on it's way down the valley and there's no stopping it.

Yesterday H&M dropped her, today it's Burberry and Dior's turn. And to top it all, Westminster Social Services are looking into her parenting skills. Cocaine and kids just don't mix apparently. And the police are taking a serious view of her 'habits'.

It just goes to prove what your mum told you. Never get in with the wrong crowd.

Meanwhile, baby Spears has come at a tricky time in the Fed household. They were bickering before the baby was cut out so God only knows what they're doing now. They might have outlasted Renee and Kenny but a decree nisi can't be that far away.

Keira Knightley is also feeling the pain of separation. Fresh from splitting with Jamie Dornan, Keira wasted no time in bagging Bodyrocker Kaz James. Kaz, however, obviously had other ideas and traded her up with Francesca Versace. Who the hell can keep up with these people?

Over in Italy, George Clooney has bagged himself another lady. And this time she's got a whole lot more class than Essex bird Lisa Snowdon. The woman in question is Italian heiress Gianna Elvira Cantatore. At least someone's having a good week.