Gabrielle Toelis

Eva, we know you look in the mirror. A lot. So why didn't you notice the hideous camel toe effect in this outfit? We've seen a lot of you already but we don't need to see that particular profile.



And Tom Hanks is morphing into Bono, dyeing and straightening his thinning locks.



And, like all celebrity mums on a starvation diet and a military exercise plan, Britney has lost her gargantuan baby belly in a month but alas not the husband and the bad taste. Kevin's cornrows are beautifully offset by Britney's leopard print top and maternity bra ensemble. Class.



Meanwhile, Victoria Beckham continues in her lifelong mission to make expensive clothes look cheap. This week she deploys the tan-out-of-a-tin, the plastic breasts and hair once owned by a Russian peasant to give a Robert Cavalli dress the right look. It was a hard task - the plastic straps on the dress already gave it that cut-price, market stall look - but Posh, as ever, gave it her best shot.