I (really don't) wanna kiss you

And on and on the charade goes. I think we're all agreed that Tom Cruise just can't do straight. After this week's hand holding awkwardness (below), Tom tries to take it up a gear for the world's press by attempting a smooch. Yeah, because every straight man thinks 'I'm so straight that I'll notify photographers and then go in for a two-handed kidney grab'. Again, the hands give it away. Too lowdown and not touching anything remotely erotic or female. Katie's gone for the standard hand-in-hair-because-he's-so-darned-hot manoeuvre but who's she kidding? Tom? Hot? He's never hot unless you're a 15 year-old rent boy and you're being paid thousands of dollars an hour. And finally, why is he always covered up head to foot? So he won't touch skin with a lady?