The Pitts

Ah Jennifer Aniston, you're not having a good week, are you love? All this Vince break-up stuff has been a pain, especially as you probably split up a while ago and have just been playing the happy couple for the sake of good PR. But then your philandering ex-husband goes and decides to marry that damned Jolie woman before Christmas. At least he's not planning one of those Tom Cruise media events, complete with a magazine deal and a crazed but handsomely paid bride. At least it'll be in South Africa and only Oprah Winfrey, George Clooney, Daniel Craig, Madonna and Guy Ritchie will be attending. That's got to be some small consolation, hasn't it?

The other consolation will be that it will be Angelina's third marriage and Brad's second. Statistically speaking the odds are against them which won't make Jennifer feel better now but might make all the difference when the Lips decides she's over marriage and wants to have an open relationship with a eunuch instead.

The Break-Up

Life is imitating poor romantic comedies again. After enacting a break-up on film, Jennifer 'The Chin' Aniston and Vince 'The Advancing Forehead' Vaughn have split up. No surprises there. They've been working in different countries and according to various catty reports, Jennifer is very needy. Clearly needing to be in the same city is just asking too much for some men.

Now that Jennifer is back on the market - or probably more accurately, back weeping at Courtney Cox's kitchen - she could do worse than hitting the town with newly single Rachel Bilson. The OC actress has split up with Adam Brody after three years. There's nothing like starting the holiday season as a romantic refugee.

And spare a thought for old Spice Girl Mel B. After a whirlwind relationship with Eddie Murphy, Mel is five months pregnant and suddenly single. Not only that, but the gallant Mr Murphy is also contesting paternity. Why not kick a woman when she's down (and carrying your child)?