Love Sick

Could this Courtney Love/Steve Coogan story get any weirder? Love now says she's pregnant after holing up in a LA hotel with Coogan for two weeks. He's says it's rubbish but then he could just be talking about his comedy career since he wrote off Alan Partridge.

While they're wrangling over that one, Marcia "Bree van de Kamp" Cross has got engaged to her "long term boyfriend". Nothing like rampant lesbian speculation in the press to get a worried Hollywood star down to Argos for a big rock.

And could Kirsten wishy washy Dunst be pregnant by non-boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal? Who knows? And frankly who cares? They're just another casualty of the pregnant-too-soon syndrome. See Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams for further clarification.

Love Hotel

Sheesh. Another day, another random coupling. Today the world of mismatched celebrity romances vomits out Courtney Love and Steve Coogan. Apparently they're holed up (get it?) in a hotel in LA. Maybe Courtney's just trying to work off some of those excess rehab pounds. And freshly divorced Steve is trying to prove he can still pull a woman, even one who frankly has difficulty distinguising between a lima and a bag of Doritos. Still, at least there's one thing we can rely on. Kate Moss and Pete Doherty should have parted ways by the end of the week only to reunite by Sunday evening to guarantee a full weeks' press coverage.

Relationship meltdown

What in the world is going on? It's all too much for a mere civilian to deal with.

First Kate Moss dumps Pete 'Soap Free' Doherty, then she takes him back, proving their relationship is more elastic than Jude Whore's concept of fidelity.

Then Sadie Frost dumps her boyfriend and gets on the phone to Jude to discuss their relationship woes.

Then Sienna take Jude back, probably because she's over 12 weeks pregnant and clearly soft in the head. Which makes you wonder why celebs don't use contraception. They pump out kids like most people take out their trash.

Amidst all the break-ups, The Killers' fey frontman Brandon Flowers marries his girlfriend. Apparently Brandon is a Mormon and there I was thinking he was gay.