Third Time Stupid

While Britney Spears patches things up with her mother (and hopefully gets some decent advice for a change), Pamela Anderson has picked up the stupid baton. And she is running with it for all she's worth. Not content with marriages to two other idiots (Tommy Lee and Kid Rock), Pammie has married Rick Salomon. You know, the guy who made a sex tape with Paris Hilton. Oh, and was married to Shannen Doherty. Yeah, he's real classy, just the kind of guy you'd want bringing up your kids.

Pammie clearly thought the wedding was so important that she squeezed it in between the 7pm and 10pm performances of Hans Klok's magic show in Vegas, where she is his 'assistant'. (And who knew there was someone called Hans Klok?). Some people pop out from work for a wax but Pammie had to take it to the next level. The lunchtime wedding. Just like a wax, it's quick and unlikely to last more than three weeks.

Wed in haste, divorce at speed

I hope you're all sitting down for this one because the news is shocking. It's news you could never predict, even in your wildest, most outlandish fantasies, and you may never get over it. Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock are getting divorced after almost four months of marriage. Clearly true love only has a three month shelf-life so Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes should be okay for a few years yet.

Who could have foreseen the sudden marital meltdown when the wedding was so classy? With Kid in a clean tshirt and baseball cap and Pamela in some dress that could barely contain her assets, the ceremony had elegance and committment written all over it. When Pammie slipped into a white bikini for the wedding reception you just knew this pair's shared love of trash would see them through. How could I have been so wrong?