Fatal Distraction

Whatever happened to discretion? In the old days, you'd cheat on your wife but pretend you were working late/having dinner with a friend/going on a business trip. These days, people can't even be bothered to trot out those well worn excuses. Or at least, David Beckham can't. Not content to keep his philandering secret (or as secret as he can with the world's press tracking his every move), Becks is now flaunting it in front of his wife. At meal with Victoria at London's Nobu restaurant this week, he spent the entire evening checking out a model at a neighbouring table. Victoria eventually got up and left without eating.

That has to be the behaviour of a man who knows his wife is never going to leave him. And, more damningly, doesn't care if she ever eats again.

And what's with the hair? Is he basing this season's look on the Hitler Youth?

Hello sweet Hello

What does any recently adopted child need? Time to adjust to their new family, new country and new language? No, of course not, silly. A child shipped in from an orphanage in Vietnam to Hollywood needs their own Hello spread. It's what any self-respecting child is asking for these days. Forget toys, clothes and a trip to Disney, a wildly disorientated child unable to speak to anyone in its new family is crying out for a few pages between photos of Heather Locklear's latest date and bald Britney Spears playing tennis in rehab. I hope poor Pax Thien Jolie is at least getting a cut of the reported $2m Angelina and Brad got for the pictures, if only in compensation for the God awful name.

And Vietnamese boy makes four

No baby is special in the Jolie-Pitt household for long. With the exception of Maddox, who had Angelina to himself for a while before Zahara turned up, new kids are only new, shiny and special until Mom's eye goes roving again. So pity poor Shiloh. Not only has Angelina said that Shiloh isn't that special because she's had it easy in life (hope Angelina has started a therapy fund for the poor child), but there's going to be a new kid in the pram to suck up her parents' attention. Yes, that's right, the Jolie-Pitts have been foreign baby shopping again and this time they've got themselves a three and a half year-old Vietnamese boy. And they started shopping for him (or, as they like to say, started adoption proceedings) just after Shiloh was born in May. Not many parents would take home their third child and immediately start casting around for their fourth. Unless, of course, they're famous, got staff coming out of their arse and have some huge gaping chasm in their lives that wealth, fame and a relationship just can't plug.